Friday, September 20, 2013


Developing good listening skills take time for most people, but it's essential for both guys and girls. Instead of quickly responding, answering, or interjecting when the other person isn't even done talking....consider a few of these techniques:

  • Refrain from feeling like you have to say as much as someone else. Just say to yourself, "I'm in listening mode." Try to say less and make the other person the center of attention.
  • Rephrase what has been said: "So what you're saying is..." or something that shows you are trying to understand. Don't be cheesy about it though; it sounds weird.
  • Regroup: Ask for clarification, or ask whether what you heard in close to what he or she said.
  • Explore: Sorry I couldn't find another R word. Just take time to recognize what the conversation is really about. I am amazed at how many times good conversations end up tense and confusing because everyone got offtrack. Keep in mind the possible reason people talk to you:

  • They like you and want to share stuff with you.
  • They are confused about something, and they are hoping it will get clearer after talking.
  • They feel upset (with you or someone else) and want to clear the air.
  • They are nervous.
  • They have a decision they have to make.
  • They want attention.
  • They think it is fun.
  • They want to practice. A lot of people are painfully aware that they are bad with conversation. Some of these people actually wan to work on learning to talk to people.
  • They are afraid to let you talk because they don't want to be judged or evaluated.     
  • They have had a great day, and they want to tell someone.
And the list goes on....
I think you can see that you will have a better interactions if you figure out what he conversation is all about rather than forcing it to be something it is not.                                 


  1. Haha! I have got to get this book! I had heard about it but never got to read any of it before. Reading bits of it now from your posts has me hooked. I have a couple girl friends who could gain some from this as well, just in communicating with other girls. :)

    It's also kind of amazing how true a lot of this stuff the author is saying. I'm not boasting, but so many people have told me I'm a really good listener and I always kind of wondered what it was I was doing (I was just being me!) and this example list shed some light on what it was I've been doing!

    It's really just amazing the skills God teaches us throughout life and we don't even realize it till much later. :) So thank you Jesus!

  2. The book is an awesome/funny/true book. If you don't have it you should get it. I have a link on the left hand side of my blog that takes you straight to the book on Amazon. Chad Eastham, has a few more books that are just as good.